🌾 When Faith Hurts: Trusting God in the Dark
Written by Rylan Isabella Wicker
Scripture Reading:
“Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?”
— Matthew 11:3 (ESV)
John the Baptist was the forerunner—the voice crying out in the wilderness, the prophet who baptized Jesus, who saw the Spirit descend like a dove and heard the voice from heaven. And yet, later—sitting alone in a dark prison cell—he sends a question to Jesus:
“Are you really the One?”
If anyone should have been sure, it was John. But even John wrestled when life didn’t go the way he expected.
I get it.
A while ago, I prayed one of the hardest, most honest prayers I’ve ever prayed. I asked God to remove me from the ministry job I was part of if it wasn’t aligned with His heart, His truth, or His will. I told Him I was willing to lose it all if it meant being closer to Him and walking in obedience.
And God answered.
Since then, I’ve lost more than just a job. I’ve lost friends. I’ve lost income. I’ve struggled to pay my house payment and feed my children. I've been denied job after job—even ones I’m highly qualified for. My house needs repairs I can’t afford. My health has been giving me issues. My marriage is under pressure. And I’ve had to fight daily to keep my mind from slipping into darkness.
Some days, like John, I find myself asking:
“God, where are You in this?”
“Is this what obedience looks like?”
But Jesus didn’t rebuke John. He didn’t shame his question. He sent back a gentle but powerful response:
“Look at what I’m doing. The blind see. The lame walk. The Good News is being preached.”
(Matthew 11:4–6, paraphrased)
Jesus was reminding John:
“I am the One. Even if I’m not doing what you expected, I’m still working. Blessed is the one who doesn’t fall away on account of Me.”
That word comforts me. I may not understand why I’m walking this hard road. Maybe this season isn’t even about me. Maybe it’s about someone else watching. Maybe it’s about refining something deep in me. Maybe both.
But I do know this: Jesus is still the One. He hasn’t changed, even when my world has.
So, I keep walking. I keep praying. I keep asking for His will—no matter how painful it gets. I don’t need Him to snap His fingers and fix everything. I just need Him to stay with me. And He has.
🙏 Prayer:
Father, some days I don’t understand what You’re doing. I feel like I’ve lost so much. But I still believe You are good. Strengthen my heart when I’m weak. Comfort me when I’m discouraged. Keep me from stumbling over unmet expectations. Let Your will be done in my life, even when it hurts. In Jesus’ name, amen.
✍️ Reflection Questions:
Have you ever obeyed God and found yourself in a harder place because of it?
What expectations might you need to surrender to trust Him more deeply?
How might God be working behind the scenes, even if you can’t yet see it?
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